That is a quote from a legislator friend of mine when I asked them what would happen now that the propositions failed.
Chills went up my spine and every hair on my body stood on end.
Destroy Everything.
I thought of the communities I come from, live in and work for and thought - what could there possibly be left to destroy?
What do we have that they havent already taken?
And I was to learn quick and fast - that there was plenty left to be pillaged.
Since that day - I have recieved countless e-mails...Tell the Governor to stop this cut. Tell the legislators to save this program. Fight the cuts. Save the babiesand the list goes on.....
I have never in my life as an activist had so many moments of hopelessness as I have had since that conversation.
I sit close enough to Sacramento to know that its coming - despite our rallies, our protests, our marches, our cries for justice, the cuts are coming and those that will be hit the hardest are us.Black and Brown and Poor.
Those already suffering
Those already weary
Those already sick
Those already undereducated
Those already overincarcerated
Those already addicted
Those already dying
Those already hungry
Those already homeless
Us
As I type I weep
I weep for my sisters and brothers whom I want to scream out brace yourselves, run, hide but how can you brace yourself for the unimaginable?
How can you run when there is nowhere left to go and where in the hell can you hide in a concrete jungle?
The coming times will be dark.
But as I sit here and type this - I think they also offer us as a people great opportunity to triumph over adversity....together.
A simplistic statement to be sure but what I know is that our ancestors, when running in tribes and living in villages survived much worse with much less.
Perhaps the coming times will force us to take heed and look again at how we operate within our "villages".
Perhaps the collapse of their empire can be the beginning of our kingdom.
Perhaps adversity can be the catalyst to some strategic thinking and action and change.
If they want to cut $850,00 per pupil out of the school system - how many of us can open our own schools and take in 5-10 village children? We have enough educators who can help provide curriculum aligned to state standards and rigor can be found in a backyard schoolhouse and perhaps more readily than in an overcrowded and overtaxed schoolhouse.
If they want to cut funding for HIV education and prevention - how many of us can make posters and signs and hold house meetings? How many doctors and nurses do we have in our communties that can hold clinics and provide resources?
If they want to cut welfare - how many cooks do we have in our communities? A 5lb bag of beans and rice goes a mighty long way to feeding the block.
Get up off your knees and get your hands out of the air.
What can we do for OURSELVES?????? For our brothers? For our sisters? For OUR children - for to be sure - they are noone's responsibility but our own.
Im just as scared as the rest of you but somehow in the writing of this note - i moved from scared to mad and mad to determined and determined to empowered.
The ancestors are with me indeed.
The cuts ARE coming.
Our communities WILL suffer.
UNLESS, ME AND YOU AND HER AND HIM AND SHE AND HE AND THEY AND THEM AND THOSE DOOOOOOOO something about it!
How much of the burden are you willing to carry on your back so that the village survives? Let us dialogue and let that dialogue turn into action and let that action turn into change - grassroots, bottom up, community driven and designed CHANGE.
Ase!
In Struggle and Solidarity,
Cat
Friday, June 19, 2009
Cycles
Cycles
June 19, 2009
I play out the scenes of my mothers life
A single momma and nobodys wife
Raising a child and still tryin to get grown
Trying to figure out the way when I never was shown
And Im old beyond my earthly years
Yet Im still trapped inside of a four year olds fears
Sheddin tears
for a mama whos angry and a daddy whos gone
Little girl singing songs of the sounds of silence
Hiding under her bed at night
waitin for light and the monsters to go away
A new day
comes with same names but different shames that push her to her limit
creating rocky pathways to teenage years filled with fourteen year old fears and shallow tears
IM HERE
she screams in sound waves that fall on deafened ears
Everyone dealin with their own dysfunction
This junction
in my life could have been forseen by psychics with much less intuition than me
But somehow I didn’t see
it coming
Till it was too late and a car wreck after a bad date
with drugs and disease and crime and police screaming Freeze!
Im frozen –
been here for about thirty three years now
paralyzed from the waist down
stuck in the same position
with legs spread and soul dead
the only thing that changes is the faces and yeah, well sometimes the places
but didn’t your daddy tell you you couldn’t run from your problems
And half the time they get there before I do screaming we got you
for life
nigga
And I used to think that if I could just get a lil bit bigga – things could be different
If ida known then what I know now
I would kept my black ass four somehow
cause as painful as it was then
I could still hide under my bed
and it be OK
if I didn’t come out that bitch for days
but now I got rent to pay and a mouth to feed
and no I aint talkin about me
cause it was just about me Id probably starve to death
but that three year old is depending on me for her health
and so I step into the kitchen and try to have more mediation in my heart than bitchin
But that’s hard sometimes
especially after time 99 that he was supposed to come home and didn’t
Cycles
June 19, 2009
I play out the scenes of my mothers life
A single momma and nobodys wife
Raising a child and still tryin to get grown
Trying to figure out the way when I never was shown
And Im old beyond my earthly years
Yet Im still trapped inside of a four year olds fears
Sheddin tears
for a mama whos angry and a daddy whos gone
Little girl singing songs of the sounds of silence
Hiding under her bed at night
waitin for light and the monsters to go away
A new day
comes with same names but different shames that push her to her limit
creating rocky pathways to teenage years filled with fourteen year old fears and shallow tears
IM HERE
she screams in sound waves that fall on deafened ears
Everyone dealin with their own dysfunction
This junction
in my life could have been forseen by psychics with much less intuition than me
But somehow I didn’t see
it coming
Till it was too late and a car wreck after a bad date
with drugs and disease and crime and police screaming Freeze!
Im frozen –
been here for about thirty three years now
paralyzed from the waist down
stuck in the same position
with legs spread and soul dead
the only thing that changes is the faces and yeah, well sometimes the places
but didn’t your daddy tell you you couldn’t run from your problems
And half the time they get there before I do screaming we got you
for life
nigga
And I used to think that if I could just get a lil bit bigga – things could be different
If ida known then what I know now
I would kept my black ass four somehow
cause as painful as it was then
I could still hide under my bed
and it be OK
if I didn’t come out that bitch for days
but now I got rent to pay and a mouth to feed
and no I aint talkin about me
cause it was just about me Id probably starve to death
but that three year old is depending on me for her health
and so I step into the kitchen and try to have more mediation in my heart than bitchin
But that’s hard sometimes
especially after time 99 that he was supposed to come home and didn’t
Cycles
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